nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
