Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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