you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
