you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
