I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
