i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
