Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
They have beer where we have blood.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
