come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
