we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
