Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize