He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
