dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
