I can't watch pbs sober anymore
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
