We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
