he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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