So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize