so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
