pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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