Your face is a jimmy john
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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