Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
