wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize