Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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