their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
