Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
