No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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