halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
