just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
