: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
