you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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