We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
