No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
