Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
