I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
