My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
