I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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