first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
