Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
