If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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