Sry I called you an 8
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
