yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's blow job season.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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