Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
