So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
