Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
