remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
