butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
