your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
