i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize