so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
