Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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