Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
