Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
