Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
