I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize