It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
