You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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